Re: Kevin Stroupe's hurtful comments

[In response to all of the turmoil and backlash surrounding his recent scandal, Franco Flamingo has decided to hold a press conference.  The organizers have set up cameras and have disco music playing as Franco makes his way up to the mic.]

Flamingo:  Music off.

[silence]

I'm sorry I'm not in the mood for singing and dancing tonight...  I really don't mean to disappoint you, I've just got a lot on my mind.  

Let's be real here.

You know it came out that... that... that I'm actually 35 years old... I guess I just can't be 25 forever.  I'm not proud of that.  I wish I could be, but I'm not.  Then to find out that Kevin Stroupe has said some very hurtful things about me, [Franco starts sobbing] it's just put me over the edge!

Well you know Kevin... you may not think so, but your comments really hurt my feelings.  Saying I could PASS FOR 40!?!?  I look "CHEESY"?  WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?! That you can just say hurtful things about me behind my back and I wouldn't find out about it?  You know, you THINK you're a "Superstar", but you're nothing but a FAKE!  With your OPPRESSIVE ATTITUDE and those BRAINWASHED, BIGOTED KNOBHEADS you call "FANS"!  You don't respect your fans, the people on your side, like Kate Cameron, when your friend Danny implied she wasn't a good wrestler when he compared her to me.  You don't stand up for your fans!  Well I'm not a fake, Kevin.  I'm OPEN and HONEST about who I am; I'm PROUD OF WHO I AM!

And then you just write off my experiences in the NSFL because it's ONLY in San Francisco, it's NOT AS LARGE as some of the OTHER LGBT wrestling promotions in California.  You've experienced all of these "exotic, worldly places", but have you ever BEEN in San Francisco?  Have you ever EXPERIENCED the NSFL?  No, you haven't, but I have!  When "Buff Brutus Beefquake" butt-splashed on my face... 

. . .

[Franco stares blankly into space]

. . . 

. . . The things I experienced there . . . 

. . . 

. . . What I experienced there was far more exotic than anything on this planet . . .

. . . Was far more exotic than anything you can describe, that you can imagine . . . 

. . . You have not seen what I have seen . . .  

. . . You have not lived what I have lived . . .

. . . You have not delved into this world . . . 

. . . but I have, and I did, and I came out of there.  I persevered . . .

. . . and I WON the NSFL Championship for the SECOND TIME!!!

You know, this scandal really has me |BLEEP|swaggled.  I'm embarrassed, angry, humiliated, ashamed; I think I'm going to have a nervous breakdown!  And then for you Kevin, to make such hurtful comments about me!  Well I'm lucky.  I'm lucky that Ravage is just right around the corner, that I get to take my REVENGE on this prosthetic phallus that hurt my feelings so!  You want a piece of me, Kevin!?  A piece of this world that I live in, Kevin Stroupe!?  A PIECE OF ME!?  Well if you want me, you can... have me, boyfriend.  But know that The Flaming Flamingo has got a paddle with your name on it, and you're gonna get spanked!