Dutchman's Pit 2007

{Ringside} 

 
Lane: Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to take you aboard the Revenge for the highly anticipated Dutchman’s Pit match.  Specifics about the match haven’t been made public, but everyone has been speculating it highly.

 

Hart: That’s right.  What we do know is that the match will take place on a pirate ship.  It’s not a set made to look like a pirate ship or a boat made to look like a pirate ship or anything.  It’s a ship that looks like its right out of the 1700’s.  There is a high chance that the men coming back are going to have mild cases of scurvy.

 

Lane: Yes, and on top of that, there will be no protective areas or gear used; no mats, no turnbuckles, and no safety precautions have been made.  So when they step foot on that ship, they are on their own.

 

Hart: The only men on board who are not physically involved in the match are the camera crew.  Because of the high risk involved in capturing this long-awaited event, each member of the camera crew, on board and the rest on a yacht 10 feet away, were paid $20,000 each two weeks in advance by both the WWX management and Vali-Ent.

 

Lane: Why did Vali-Ent put up cash?

 

Hart: This comes as a surprise to you?  I’d be surprised if they didn’t have a hand in it.

 

Lane: Good point.  I just received word that Adora Cruz is in the very yacht that half of the camera crew is on.

 

Hart: Really?  I guess she couldn’t miss this action live.  It has been said all over the internet that this match will rival the last unconventional way that this title was lost, and that is, of course, by gang shooting.

 

Lane: We go to the ship now live!

 

{Scene cuts to a wide shot of the ship.  The weather is dark, rainy and windy.  Wakes fill the ocean as the ship waves around the water.  The scene then cuts to inside the ship, where Captain Keats is behind the wheel.  He smiles and points to one of his men.}

 

Keats: Bring out ye prisoners!

 

{Shadow, Wacky, Wave, Panasonic, Egotripp and Team Impact walk onto the deck by gunpoint.  They all walk out dreadfully confused.}

 

Panasonic: Aren’t we supposed to all do our introductions?

 

{The pirate behind Pan pistol whips him in the back of his head as Keats laughs.}

 

Keats: Boys, welcome to the Revenge!  All of ye be far away from home.  We be 50 miles into thar Pacific Ocean, and miles from civilization.  If ye look to the right side of me ship, you will see… The Flying Dutchman!

 

{Thunder claps as the Dutchman is shown at a distance.  It’s a dark ship, and above the deck, looks very blurry.}

 

Keats: The object of this match is to grab me gold and board thar Dutchman, where you must stand in the middle of its pit and raise ye gold high before Davy Jones himself!

 

Shadow: That’s it?  Sounds easy to me, I’m a former World Champion.

 

{The pirate behind Shadow pistol whips him in the back of the head as Keats gets angry.}

 

Keats: No one else speaks out o’ line on me own ship, or they will be thrown into ye dark abyss below!  Now, me gold is right up there… in the middle of thar rusty chain tied to both me ship and ye Dutchman!  Twenty yards o’ chain tied above ye Revenge and ye Dutchman’s highest watchtowers hold me belt to the sky!

 

{Thunder strikes the belt, heating the leather and illuminating the center plate.}

 

Keats: Listen and listen carefully.  Aboard the Dutchmen are dead men; tortured souls o’ five hundred years forced into ye depths of Davy Jones’ Locker!  If thar was thinkin’ that this be a regular match of man verses man, think again!  Ye will not only be a-fightin’ for me gold; ya be fightin’ for ye lives!  This not be a match for ye kiddies, and this not be a Disney movie!  And if ye want ta turn back, it be too late; ye should have with King and Rodgers.  Now, ye are in it, and ye are in it… until it be finished!

 

{All of the contenders look around the ship in fear, and a few develop a few moments of blurry eyesight.  They all swallow hard and collect themselves.  Cade and Cuiside stand side by side and glare at RenolG while smiling.  Shadow glares at Pan, Wave glares at Egotripp as Egotripp puts on his glass-covered Kevlar gloves and Wacky glares at the captain.}

 

Keats: Now be the start of ye match.  Ring the bell, ye scurvy dogs!

 

{A pirate rings the battle bell and everyone attacks in a frenzy.  Cade and Cuiside tackle RenolG down and shower him with punches, Shadow runs and hurls himself onto Pan and Wave charges at Egotripp, but Egotripp counters with a backhand to the face, knocking Wave out cold as he flips to the floor.  Wacky charges for Keats while Keats smiles.  Wacky goes to punch Keats, but Keats grabs Wacky’s arm and swings it to his back.  Keats holds Wacky’s arm still and one-arm German suplexes him to the floor.}

 

Lane: Wow, a great show of power by the captain!

 

{Pirates run to attack Wacky but Keats yells for them to stop.  Keats turns his attention back to Wacky, who has gotten up and found half of an ore.  He smacks Keats in the face with the ore and breaks it in half.  Wacky takes the broken piece and holds it to Keats’ throat.}

 

Keats: Ye be killin’ me now?  It be worth me gold?

 

{Wacky drops the ore and Keats pulls Wacky’s feet from under him.  Keats gets up and pulls up Wacky.}

 

Keats: I think me gold be worth a human life.

 

{Keats smiles and throws Wacky head first through a door.  The door shatters on impact and Keats follows.  Meanwhile, Shadow continues his heavy assault on Pan as Egotripp approaches both of them.}

 

Hart: This doesn’t look good…

 

{Egotripp takes Shadow by the hair and smashes his face into a mast.  Above the cheering and shouting of 150 pirates, the sound of Shadow’s nose breaking can be heard.  Shadow gets up, wipes the blood from his face and stares at Egotripp, who has begun to laugh.  Shadow jumps up and kicks Egotripp in the side of the neck.  Egotripp flips sideways and hits the floor hard.  Before Shadow can turn around, Pan gets up and punches Shadow in the ribs before hip tossing him into an empty wooden cargo box.}

 

Lane: What is this?  Panasonic helping Egotripp?  Especially after what he did to him?

 

Hart: Hey, teamwork goes along way in this match.  You need allies in order to survive, right?

 

{Pan picks Shadow up and hits him with the K.O.S.  Shadow’s neck cracks before he lays on the floor semi conscious.  Pan gets up and looks at Shadow in shock, thinking he killed him.  Egotripp gets up and puts his hand on Pan’s shoulder.}

 

Egotripp: It’s Ok.  He’ll be fine.  It’s more than I can say about you, though.

 

{As Pan turns his head, Egotripp punches him in the face with his other hand.  Glass sc|BLEEP|s against the face of Pan as blood squirts all over his face and Egotripp’s hand.}

 

Hart: So much for teamwork…

 

{Team Impact has found their way below the deck, approaching the holding cells.  Cade kicks RenolG in the chest and sends him down a flight of wooden stairs.  RenolG is battered, bloody, bruised and tired.  Cade and Cuiside notice this after RenolG falls down the stairs, so they keep up the pressure.}

 

Hart: Speaking of teamwork, aren’t these jerks on the same team as RenolG?

 

Lane: I guess not; Cade and Cuiside, from the looks of it, have finally seen RenolG for the weakling that he is, and there’s no room for the weak in this match, or in Team Impact.

 

{Cade and Cuiside walk down the stairs and laugh as RenolG tries to hold himself up.}

 

Cade: Look at this punk.

 

Cuiside: No wonder he’s out of the game; he can’t even take a punch anymore.

 

{Cuiside punches RenolG in the face and they both laugh again when RenolG crashes against the floor.  Cade catches sight of the Brigg as they continue to laugh.}

 

Cade: Hey Cuiside, I think it’s time our boy did a nickel or two.

 

{Cade points to the cells and he and Cuiside smile.  Cade grabs RenolG’s legs and Cuiside grabs RenolG’s arms.  As RenolG tries to fight out, they hurl him into the cell.}

 

Cuiside: RenolG, you have been found guilty.  You are sentenced to 10 years, or whenever this ship sinks.  Whichever comes first.

 

{Cade and Cuiside laugh as Cade pushes the cell gate shut.  With a bit of energy, RenolG pops up and kicks the gate open before it could be locked.  Cade and Cuiside look at RenolG in shock, but shock soon turns to anger.  Cade walks inside the cell and tries to kick RenolG in the chest again.  RenolG catches Cade’s foot and throws him into the wall behind him.  Cuiside runs in and goes to clothesline RenolG.  RenolG ducks and as soon as Cuiside passes him, he kicks Cuiside in the back as hard as he can, cracking Cuiside’s vertebrae and causing him to drop to his knees screaming.}

 

Lane: Someone’s lost it.

 

{RenolG walks to face Cuiside and punches him in the face.  He kneels to Cuiside’s side, and delivers blow after blow to Cuiside’s face; each one harder than the last.  RenolG develops an angry and intense look in his eyes as he starts to yell in frustration and rage.  RenolG notices that Cuiside is out cold after 40 seconds of punching.  He wipes his hands clean, leaves the cell and locks them in the cage.  Cade jumps up and runs to the door as RenolG walks away.}

 

Cade: Hey homie, we were just playin’ around.  This is a title match, dog; all or nothin’.  Come on, let us out, G.

 

{RenolG walks up to the gate with the same intense look.}

 

RenolG: You don’t run me; I run you.  Enjoy jail, |BLEEP|.

 

{RenolG spits in Cade’s face as Cade bangs on the gate and screams obscenities at RenolG.  RenolG walks back to the deck and notices the match is still on the same ship.}

 

Hart: Only RenolG, Keats, Wacky, Panasonic and Egotripp left!

 

Lane: Things are bound to get interesting!

 

Hart: Are we watching the same match!?  This match has been interesting from the start!

 

{A camera finds Keats and Wacky in the captain’s quarters.  They trade blows as Wacky grows tired and Keats grows even more eager.  Keats grabs Wacky by the back on the head and smashes Wacky’s face against his table.  Keats chokes Wacky against his table, grabs a nearby compass and holds the sharp end to Wacky’s eye.  Keats begins to laugh as Wacky fights to get Keats off of him.}

 

Keats: Ye should have killed me when ye had the chance!

 

{Wacky is able to kick Keats off of him, but Keats comes back with an even harder kick that sends Wacky half way across the room.  Keats throws Wacky out of a nearby window, and the flying shards sink into Wacky’s body as he glides through the air.  Wacky lands hear the stern of the ship and notices that his body is starting to run with his blood.  Keats jumps out of the window after him and grabs Wacky by the back of the neck.  Keats drags Wacky to the edge overlooking the lower deck, filled with pirates all wanting a piece of Wacky.}

 

Keats: Say hello to ye end, Wacky!

 

{Keats throws Wacky into the lower deck and the sailors all gang up on Wacky.  Wacky looks like he was thrown into a huge river of people; a river that devoured him as soon as he landed.  Keats takes the pistol of a near by pirate and grabs a rope that is holding up an unopened sail.  He shoots the bottom of the rope and the rope pulls him up as the sail comes down.  The rope pulls him 40 feet into the air before he lets go.  The pirates move out of the way as Keats falls and delivers an elbow drop so massive, that the floor breaks and sends them down to the armory.}

 

Hart: I have to admit, that was pretty cool.

 

Lane: Why would you have to admit that?  Of course it was cool!

 

{Wacky lays motionless as Keats gets up.  Keats picks up Wacky and puts him on top of a cannon.  Keats makes Wacky face inside of the cannon as he lights it with a smile on his face.  Wacky comes to and right away moves his head up, away from the cannon.  The cannon shoots immediately, and the blast burns the tip of Wacky’s nose as he avoids the cannon fire.}

 

Hart: Oh my God!  He almost killed Wacky!

 

{Wacky rolls off of the cannon and hits the floor.  Keats walks over to Wacky and stands over him.}

 

Keats: You be one lucky boy, mate!

 

{Keats kicks Wacky in the face and their fight continues.  Elsewhere, RenolG, Pan and Egotripp begin to climb the watchtower.  Pan is in front; RenolG and Egotripp fight to get ahead.  Egotripp grabs at Pan’s legs, but Pan kicks him away.  Egotripp falls into the upper deck right away.  RenolG and Pan make it to the top and they both fight as wind tries to blow them off of the tower.  Pan knocks RenolG over the railing of the tower, but RenolG holds on as the wind gets stronger.  Pan wastes no time in climbing across the thick chain.}

 

Lane: It seems like Panasonic is the only one left in this match.

 

{RenolG gathers enough strength to climb over the railing and tries to shake the chain as Pan approaches the title.  The chain shakes and soon, Pan loses his balance.  He holds onto the chain with one hand as the pirate crew chant for him to drop.  The wind picks up again, and swings him around with the chain.  Pan lets go and reaches for the belt immediately.  He holds onto the belt for dear life as the wind continues to blow.)

 

Hart: This does not look good for Panasonic!  

 

{Rain starts to fall as Pan reaches for the chain.  Before he could grab it, the belt unbuckles and sends Pan hurling into the water as the pirates cheer.  Pan lands flat on his back.}

 

Hart: That definitely had to break his back!

 

Lane: Who cares?  Panasonic grabbed the belt!  He won!

 

Hart: No, in order to win, you have to stand in the middle of the Dutchman’s pit in victory, weren’t you listening to Keats?

 

Lane: Not really.

 

{RenolG takes a deep breath, and without hesitation, he climbs to the top of the chain and walks across.  He gets to the middle, and maintains his balance against the rain and the wind.  Without a moment’s pause, he leaps off of the chain towards Pan, who is semi conscious laying in the water.  RenolG splashes Pan with full force into the water, and the impact pushes them deeper in.}

 

Hart: Now that is an impact!

 

{Pan accidentally lets go of the belt and it drops into the abyss.  RenolG swims into the darkness after it.  He catches it and swims back to the surface of the water.  Before he could reach it, he catches sight of a large shark closing in on him.  RenolG panics, grabs Pan and swims to the Dutchman.  RenolG throws Pan into the Dutchman and climbs after him as the shark goes to bite both of them.}

 

Hart: What a humanitarian.

 

Lane: He should have let Panasonic get eaten and swam away with the belt.  Any smart person would have done it!

 

{When they reach the deck, a dark, deep, monotonous and subtle hum could be heard throughout the ship.  A man comes out of the darkness and looks at RenolG.  The man is wearing black jeans that have been burnt at the bottom, a holey white Vali-Ent shirt that’s covered in blood and a raggy ski mask that looks like it had been torn apart and sewn back together.  Another man comes out of the darkness behind him.  This man is rather buffer, has a short haircut and is visibly missing a tooth.  Both of the men’s eyes are pale, lifeless and soulless.  They stare at RenolG as RenolG fights to get up.  As RenolG stands, they approach him.}

 

RenolG: No, this can’t be!

 

{The two men both let out a demonic growl, and soon deform to the point where they don’t look human anymore.  RenolG’s eyes grow wide, his pupils shrink and he sweats profusely as more demons come out of the shadows and approach RenolG.  From the direction of the Revenge, faint yelling can be heard that grows louder and closer at every second.  Soon, Egotripp falls out of the sky and lands at the center of the group of demons.  To cross, he took the pistol of a pirate, shot a rope holding a sail closed, and used the force to slingshot him over to the Dutchman.}

 

Hart: Egotripp is back!

 

{Egotripp looks around the demons in shock, but this doesn’t stop him from fighting through the demons.  Their blood runs black as it splatters all over the Dutchman; Egotripp swings at every demon in front of him with his Kevlar gloves still on his hands.  He reaches the belt and the demons back away from him and approach RenolG.  RenolG quickly realizes what is going on and quickly attacks Egotripp.}

 

Lane: It’s a fight for the belt; whoever holds the belt, the demons won’t attack!

 

Hart: And whoever doesn’t have the belt is as good as a mutinous dog.

 

{The demons circle the two as they trade blows.  Egotripp grabs RenolG’s collar and continuously punches his forehead until the glass on his knuckles begins to be ground off.  RenolG pushes Egotripp away, runs and dropkicks Egotripp to the chest, making him hit a door that almost buckles under Egotripp’s weight.  Egotripp gets back up and runs to RenolG.  Egotripp lariats RenolG in the neck as hard as he can, sending RenolG into a group of demons.  Egotripp catches his breath and the demons throw RenolG back into the middle of the deck after a couple minutes.  Now RenolG is bloodier, more battered and even more tired.  RenolG tries to run at Egotripp, but Egotripp back body drops RenolG overboard.  RenolG lands in a school of jelly fish.  Who quickly sting him over and over again, his screams heard over the din of the gale.}

 

Hart: It seems like this match is over.

 

{Egotripp cracks his neck, takes the title and walks to the ledge overlooking “the pit”.  He jumps down the ten foot drop as demons follow his every action.  The pit is even darker than the deck, and even more horrific demons circle him.  They make way for a seemingly normal looking man wearing the rags of a pirate.  He stands face to face with Egotripp.  Egotripp raises the AAA Title in victory and, like the other demons, the man begins to deform into a grotesque mass.  As he deforms, he grows 14 feet bigger than Egotripp.  Egotripp stands his ground, lifts his chin up in pride and continues to hold the title up in victory without shaking.  RenolG climbs on deck and crawls to the ledge, watching in fear as the large demon looks at Egotripp in the eyes before letting out a booming demonic growl into the face of Egotripp.  Egotripp stands still, and maintains his expression as the demon continues to growl.  The growling ends and a thunderbolt strikes the center plate of the title.  The title illuminates, and the demons form back into the shapes of men.  They back into the darkness as Egotripp puts the belt down, and looks at the plate; the word “Egotripp” was burned into the name plate of the belt.}

 

Hart: And we have our winner!

 

{Egotripp climbs to the other side.  As he climbs across the chain, it is split in half by gunfire, which sends Egotripp hurling into the ground.  After he lands, 150 pistols are pointed at his face, with Keats looking over him.}

 

Keats: I be takin’ me belt back now, boy.

 

Egotripp: It’s mine now.

 

Keats: You be willin’ to die for me own gold?

 

Egotripp: After what I did for it, death would be the weakest way to lose it.

 

Keats: That be the saddest thing I ever heard.  Men, attack the Dutchman!  I be killin’ it’s last inhabitant!

 

{The crew fire the cannons at the Dutchman, who do the same back to the Revenge.  Keats pulls the hammer on his pistol back.  Before he could shoot, a yell coming from the sky grows louder and closer at every second.  Soon, Corporal Sanders, falling from the sky, knocks Keats to the ground.  Sanders helps Egotripp up and punches a nearby pirate out cold.}

 

Sanders: Congratulations on your win, but we don’t have a lot of time before the ship sinks.  Every shot that the Dutchman fired on this vessel has hit an important part of the ship.

 

Egotripp: Where is the Dutchman?

 

Sanders: See for yourself.

 

{As Sanders fights off pirates, Egotripp looks at where the Dutchman was.  Now, just a patch of calm water flows at the area.}

 

Sanders: We need to get off this ship now!  I need you to go through the ship as quickly as you can and get whoever may be below deck.

 

{Egotripp runs below deck and finds Cade and Cuiside in the cell, screaming for help.  Egotripp kicks open the cell with all of his might and they run up deck and board the helicopter that is now hovering over the ship. The gale is starting to clear. Running into the armory, Egotripp finds Wacky unconscious next to a cannon.  He tries to wake him up, but gives up and carries him to the deck.  He finds Keats and Sanders battling it out as the ship sinks.}

 

Sanders: Get on the copter!  You don’t have much time!

 

Egotripp: What about you?

 

Sanders: Don’t worry about me!  Get your ass in that copter now!

 

{Egotripp throws Wacky into the copter and climbs inside.  Sanders and Keats continue the battle. A blast rips the Revenge in two and it sinks. Keats and Sanders still trading blows even as the black water swallows them.  In the copter, Egotripp is the only one sitting; everyone else from the match is lying on the floor in pain.  Egotripp stares at the center plate of the belt.  He smiles, throws the belt over his shoulder, stretches his arms to his sides and yells upwards at the top of his lungs in victory.}

 
Pilot: Sir, where’s the Corporal?

 
[Egotripp points to the water below.

A Coast Guard rescue copter appears, dropping a frogman into the water.

The copters circle as the camera crew yacht moves in.

The frogman appears and is helped aboard.

Cruz helps the man on board.]

 
Cruz: Any sign of Keats or Sanders.

 
Frogman: No Mam.

 
Camera guy: LOOK!

 
[There is bubbling at the surface. The yacht moves in.

The camera closes in on the center of where the bubbles were.

Floating is a single extinguished wick from Keats’ beard.]

 
Hart: A true Captain to the end. 

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