BREAKING NEWS:DAVIS & LOCO IN ACCIDENT; No word of Eastin

(Mike Hart is standing inside The WWXC Studio, with a BREAKING NEWS logo flashing in the corner of the huge LCD screen that he is in front of)

Mike Hart: This is a BREAKING NEWS story, happening only a few minutes ago while Chris Sanders was conducting an interview for WWX.com. the following footage is graphic and disturbing. Viewer discretion is advised.

(Cut to the footage....Chris Sanders is outside in the parking lot outside the McIver Center, after spotting El Chollo Loco and War Machine Davis getting into their rental car.)

CS: DAVIS! LOCO! We haven't seen you guys on TV for weeks! We also haven't seen your boss, former IWA Champion 'Evil' sPeD Eastin since he took out Kenneth Starson at Fury a few weeks back and walked out of his match....where have you guys been?

ECL: Gringo- we've been here every week, esse!

WMD: Ever since sPeD bolted, neither Ranger nor Pendragon haven't booked us for a GOD DAMNED THING! We have no idea where he is- we tried calling his cell, all his homes, hangout spots- NOTHING. He's avoiding us, just like he's avoiding everyone else it seems, because we honestly have NO F(BLLEP)ING IDEA where he is. When he left, he drove off in the Satanic Shortbus, and left us stranded to get a rental car- one that has no leg room, by the way (looks at Loco)

ECL: (To Davis) Cállate pendejo! (to Chris) Listen- it's not our fault that Eastin took off, holmes, yet WE'RE getting punished for it....that is some major caca del toro right there, esse! 

WMD: Yeah- but instead of sitting around and waiting to be booked....f(BLEEP) that! We have iron-clad "immortal" contracts to come and go as we please....we're gonna go find a different company that will be willing to pay us well to make their roster FEEL OUR WRATH...we'll be more than happy to oblige! We're WRESTLERS, James- NOT BODYGUARDS, you dick!

ECL: Si- F(BLEEP) sPeD, F(BLEEP) Ranger, F(BLEEP) Xavier, F(BLEEP) Duncan, F(BLEEP) Soul, F(BLEEP) Blaze, and F(BLEEP) you too, Chris....F(BLEEP) all you pendejos up your culos, maricon...we may be loco, but we're not estupido, puto....next time you'll see Damage, Inc. in the WWX will be when we're appreciated a lot more than we are now. Let me pull out the Cornette face when I say F(BLEEP) THIS COMPANY!!! If that shocks you....DON'T YOU KNOW I'M LOCOOOOOOOOO?!!!!!

(both men get in the car and slam the doors, Loco driving and Davis in the passenger side, as the rental car speeds off. The car doesn't seem to slow down as it leaves the parking lot, as a speeding Hummer slams "T-Bone style" into the passenger side of the car, sending the car into a huge spin and flips it on it's roof. The Hummer speeds away with a hit-and-run)

CS: (yelling to crew) OH MY GOD! NOOOOO! MEDIC!! WE NEED AN AMBULANCE!! Paco and Wesley have been t-boned by a Hummer! HELP!! Turn the camera off and go get help!

(static fuzz)

(cut back to the studio)

Hart: Both men have been taken to a local hospital with severe injuries, Davis' injuries are extremely severe, taking most of the impact. We'll bring you more news about this when it comes our way. I'm Mike Hart, and this was a WWX Breaking News story.

(ftb)

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